Because sometimes in life, it honestly feels like just that. A bunch of meaningless words tossed together to create a filler that's visually appealing. Making a blank page seem full when it's really not, I guess. So, I'm sure that all of you or at least most of you know by now that I lost my job. It was a big clusterfuck involving the entire scenario, people were written up and HR (Human Resources) even got involved because of the way I was let go. Lots of drama involving that, but basically all it boils down to is that the supervisor is a total bitch who says one thing and thinks another. She didn't like me, so she wormed her way around the manager who's leaving (The manager is training the supervisor to become the new manager at this location, though said supervisor has NO intention of becoming the manager.) into it being her decision. Basically she just bitched about how "Uncomfortable" she was, the ACTUAL manager didn't really get it but it wasn't really their call seeing as the manager is leaving to go manage another store.
So, drama. Drama drama drama. I get fired, get accosted on the side of the road by some drunken assholes, wave to someone driving by and tell them to call the police and they... Drove off. Yeah. Really, this world is just full of criminals and sheep, it's very hard to see the distinction between people. Anyone who is not your friend is certainly an enemy, or at least that's how it seems to go nowadays. Maybe I should be more of a manipulative bitch, certainly would have kept my job that way now wouldn't I have? Haha, but in all honesty fuck them. I have an opportunity coming up and if I get it I'll be making twice as much... Which'd be about fourty five thousand a year to start which would be nice. Hospital work, but. Whatever. What comes around goes around, and all those people are going to get theirs soon enough I suppose.
I got in a fight with Sammi because I was stressed out, so that was lovely. Getting all forms of contact cut off and having to scramble to figure things out while your income is severed and your life is going to shit is always fun. She hit up Dale for advice on the matter (I imagine you can guess what he said very accurately based on my last post) for whatever reason, which only leads me to draw the logical conclusion that they never cut ties to begin with. I guess life is fun like that sometimes, when you're told one thing and your brain instantly connects with another thing but you aren't really in a position to do anything about it. It puts me on edge, to say the least; not a pleasant feeling but I guess I ultimately just have to deal with it since it's none of my business. Her friends are not my friends, and regardless of the transgressions and circumstances involved and how it makes me feel I really don't have any say in the matter.
Honestly? I've been bored out of my mind, I don't know what to do with anything anymore and I've just been scrambling to figure out things to do. Anything, really. I don't feel like playing many games and I'm just sort of hanging around and not really doing much. My insomnia has gotten a lot worse recently and I've been unable to sleep entirely for several nights. I managed to fall asleep for eighteen hours, only to wake and stay up for another thirty. I guess that's how it works sometimes though, right? Well, whatever... These things have a way of sorting themselves out. No matter how little sleep or how many migraines or how stressed out you get you'll still figure things out eventually or something like that. I found out that the person my therapist referred me to earlier is basically a dead end, the waiting list is so large it's almost laughable. Like "Wow, fuck that. I'll probably be fourty by then". For some reason I think I'm sounding like Ryou right now. It's really, really weird but I guess your mind plays tricks on you when you don't sleep enough.
So, right now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. My parents are moving, I'm currently renting from them... This gives me two options. I can go with them and live back in the city that I absolutely hate and don't want to be in... But there's some work there... Or I can try and rent somewhere here with my brother or something and maybe get a job. I'm not looking forward to it to say the least, being in an apartment that is. I'm very much a person who likes to have their own space others can't interfere with... Like, I'm not too sure how I'd cope with someone above/below me making a shitload of noise or something. Things are kind of shitty, but at least I worked some of it out right? That's a start.
Now only if I could find a cure-all for boredom and start filling up the pages of my life with something other than the same-old meaningless Lorem Ipsum.
No comments:
Post a Comment