Where to start?

It's been awhile, hasn't it? It has, it has... I don't know, a lot happened. Let's see... Well, as I'm sure a lot of you know by now I encountered some money troubles... Thanks to my brother, of course. He was being a massive douchebag, I don't know how to put it any other way. I had to sell my laptop to scrape by because he wouldn't talk to me about MY money. So, I sold it. Yeah, sold. Gone, poof. Vamoose. Want to know the best part? I got my fucking money from him two days later. TWO. DAYS. It's such a load of bullshit it isn't even funny.

So I was basically stressing out for the longest time about money and such... Getting a little paranoid I dare say about all the people constantly breathing down my neck. It was terrible, to put it lightly. I certainly don't want to go through that sort of thing again... Luckily with my assets I should be financially secure until next year now. That's good. No laptop though, which is sucky. So, yeah. For awhile it looked like I was going to be down for the count for a week (I still would be) because of my laptop, but it turns out my sister's BF had a spare PCI card hanging around which saved me.

It's been weird, to be honest. Mainly I've been trying to sort out conflict with my friends. I don't know, trying to fix things from them. I've also caused a lot of conflict for myself in the process as well. Too busy helping other people to see the problem right in front of me... Letting myself get worked up and get caught in the heat of the moment, it's kind of annoying. Needless to say I've been trying, and I think that will have to suffice for now in lieu of a permanent solution to some things.

I've got a lot of conflicting interests right now, it's kind of a push and pull situation... I'm trying to keep a balance, persay. I want to help certain people who are normally offended by my presence or by my associations without setting them off. It's difficult, but I seem to manage regardless. I've got a lot of people on my list that simply despise each other, it's really hard to keep your balance and prevent people from clawing at your throat. But to be honest... I also think it's none of their business who I'm friends with, or my business who they're friends with. My friends are not their friends and vice versa, right?

Well, after waiting basically a month and a half or something... I don't know, my doctor got back to me. I've got an appointment on the 7th of December to go see a specialist and get properly checked out. Issue is I no longer have a laptop and I have to go up their twice... Once to get patient info files from my doctor and another time for the appointment itself. Means I'm likely going to poof for a few days or more at a time while I do stuff. Yeah, sucks. But... Whatever I guess. Do what you have to do.

There's a lot of things I want to do right now... Things I have the motivation for but I'm not really sure if I actually want to go ahead and COMMIT to them, I'm still sort of in the brainstorming scheme. I want to get back into mapping and make something but it's such a pain when you don't have a proper concept laid out. I also kind of want to write... What do I want to write? I don't know, I just know that I want to. There's a lot of things I want to sit down and dedicate time to, but it's just... Euugh. I can do them, and I want to. But there's other things that I want to do too, so I just tend to like... Half procrastinate.

Also, I think I want to get into public RP again but it's such a MASSIVE drain on time, holycrap. That and there's no shortage of douchebaggery... So it's kind of, bleh. Maybe I'll start up a server myself if I ever scrape up the fundage for it... At the moment I think I'll just flesh out some pre-existing small groups I'm part of and maybe it'll take the edge off. Iunno.

So, things worked them self out I guess. I'm not as stressed and things seem to be running smoothly so far. I'm sorry for the smallish post, I just really don't know what to write and felt like I was dragging it out already.