Mmmmh, Barium.

Wake up in the morning... 5AM. Went to sleep at 2:30AM. Lovely. A storm wakes me up, sheets of rain whipping across the ground... Massive puddles forming in seconds... Lightning and thunder cracking through the sky. It lasts about an hour.. Just a storm passing overhead. Still, very strong and fun. I like storms, though apparently this one had a tornado involved and touched down southeast of where I live. I took a video of it but it seems to be sucky and doesn't want to upload... Go figure. Anyways. Rain. Yeah.

Ever had a flouroscopy? Small bowel follow through? Yeah, you really don't want to. So, as I'm sure you're aware I wasn't able to eat anything past midnight due to an appointment I had for an S & D + Small bowel follow through. Right, uhhh... How to describe it? Unpleasant.

Barium is... Well, it smells strongly like white glue (Elmer's? Yeah, exactly like Elmer's Glue.) it looks like paint and when it gets on anything (Skin, clothes... Etc) it dries very quickly into a dusty kind of chalk that's really hard to get out. The taste is.. Well, from the smell you can expect. It tastes like glue. It kind of has this sweet taste to it but there's that strong glue taste about it... It's thick, yet somehow it's also thin and chalky and very unpleasant. You have to drink it fast or you'll gag, but if you drink it too fast the same will happen. They added... Something to quite a bit of it to make it thinner, but when you first have to drink it it's like... This grayish brownish gunk with the consistency of syrup. Oh, it's also heavy. Like, four or five times heavier than water I'd estimate. Anyways...

They make you take these pop-rocks which they say "These are very, very bitter." and you have to wash it down to barium... It creates this really acrid gas that fills your stomach and expands it so they can x-ray you. Anyways, it's not bitter so much as it tastes like battery acid... You wash it down and then you're not allowed to burp or anything. They lay you down on a table and make you turn around... From your back to your side, then your front, then your side... And back onto your back. It's then that they actually start imaging.

They make you turn at 45 degree intervals as they do it.. I could see the stuff on screen and it was sort of strange to look at. They wanted to see me swallow or something for whatever reason... So they gave me another cup of barium with a straw and made me drink it while imaging. Anyways, then the table rotates until you're standing and they image you upright (I don't know why). They make you drink... Well, ANOTHER cup of barium (We're talking 12 ounce cups here, I drank about 1.5 litres of the stuff in total..) and image you once again. They then saw me to a stall where they sat me down and... Guess what? Gave me three more cups of fucking barium. Yep. Then they ask "Can you be here for a few hours?" I just sort of shrug, sure. Why not, this already sorta sucks.

Anyways, Reader's Digest in the stalls... Read through a bunch of articles and such, did you know Lyme Disease isn't recognized in Canada? Yeah. Apparently you need to get diagnosed in the USA and stuff... They don't even run blood tests for it and won't give you shit for it even if you are diagnosed! Anyways, drink Barium, gag... Almost throw up. Drink more barium. One cup down. Read through some more articles... Work on the next cup. Get it half down before setting it back down. A particularily redneck and obnoxious man takes the stall across from me, though I have my door closed. A employee asks him "So what are your symptoms?" He sounds dumbfounded by the statement. "Symptoms?" Yeah, she asks again. "Yes, symptoms." he replies "What?" she sighs.. Clearly agitated now before asking him again "Pain in your stomach?" he replies awkwardly to her in agreeance before looking to the barium he's provided. "Breakfast." The nurse walks off and he quiets down.. Mostly.

I drink the second cup, I gag twice on it but manage to hold myself back. Two cups down, one to go. They bring me in for some imaging... The idea is that the barium gets into your intestines and lets them image it... They take me in, and lie me down on my back. They straighten out the gown I'm in and put something on my back.. It's heavy, cold.. But pleasant. I don't have to move here so I just lie flat on my stomach and let them do whatever. They finish up and send me back to my stall... Still one cup to go.

I sip, I gag and I bring my hand to my mouth to prevent myself from throwing up. Gross. ...Three fourths of a cup left. I pick up the Reader's Digest and begin reading again.. Something about an emergency coordinator in BC and another article about a guy saving a couple on a Scuba Trip.. Wonderful, I drink the barium again.. And I gag again. I swallow. Half a cup to go. They bring me back in what seems like twenty five minutes or so later and lay me down on my front again. It's a different nurse for whatever reason.. The guy doing the imaging is always the same though. They pressure is placed on my back and I feel light prodding at my spine before it ceases. They image for thirty seconds or so before bringing me back to my stall. Yay. I drink as much of the barium as I can.. I don't gag this time but I can't get more than half of what's left... Oh well. Go figure. I read the book from front to back.. There's nothing else in the stall besides some beauty magazines and a golf magazine.

Lovely. I sit and pull my legs up under my gown... I'm tired, exhausted... And my mouth tastes like glue. After what seems like an eternity of me resting my eyes and watching a mosquito fly about they call me in again. They lay me down on the table once more before taking some pictures... The heavy presence is on my back again.. Whatever it is, and I feel hands at my hips that are strangely comforting. They finish imaging and the assistant tells me that I'm probably done and just have one more to go. I notice she takes some tags from the back of my gown... Was that the heavy presence? Who knows. Needless to say I go up and back to my stall. There's three other people going through the same procedure today by the sounds of things.

They bring me back into the first room.. The rotating table. I lay down, they make me tilt and image, I can see my intestines, my stomach.. My bowels all on screen... Including my spine as well of course. It looks like war of the worlds but with my insides. Weird. Then this arm thing stretches out.. It's like a strange octagonal dome, it pushes down on my stomach and swivels about... Trying to find the junction between my large and small bowel apparently. Anyways, they rock it back and forth and tell me to lean into it.. I do, and it catches on my hip and forces me back down. Huh, so much for leaning into it. It goes up and down... pushing into my ribcage uncomfortably before they finish. It's then that I'm told that barium causes severe constipation and has a tendency to uhh... Turn into cement, essentially. LOVELY. I now have my intestines and bowels full of something that likes to harden into cement. Splee. Drink lots of water for 4-5 days. Yeah, sure.. Oh, and no caffeine.

Welp. I'm fucked.

Anyways, car is hot on the drive back home and I can bloody well smell the barium because of it... Uggh. Went to a center with this snarky looking person and passed a requisition... Some analysis thing. They give me a bag with a bright orange label that reads BIOHAZARD. Mmmh. Fun, just follow the instructions yakyakyakimatotalbitchnowgetoutofhere. I leave, thank god for that... Get home, yeah... Meh. Tired as hell, my friend is leaving for Florida... Glee. We talk but I miss actually telling them goodbye because I'm busy getting water. Funfunfun.

Take a nap, plan to sleep to the next day... Wake up at 5PM. It's hot in my room. Anyways, Rio comes bitching to me about stuff and was pretty defensive... I was sort of on his side anyways so it was like "wut." tried to play some more Supreme Commander 2 but my friend Hyperiant was having troubles... Meh. That about sums up what I've been upto recently. Long day, shitty day... I want to go out and eat Indian food or something but it's 3AM and there's nowhere to go.

Anyways, I've been listening to Immediate Music stuff lately uhhh... Specifically Betrayal Voices... Just their sci-fi stuff. I really like the sound of this one and I've definitely heard it somewhere before though I'm not too sure where. Anyways, linky. Here you go.

That's about all I have to say. Today sucked.

Peace.