So, I finally cracked. After all the strange looks I gave bloggers and my various attempts in the past I have finally cracked and made an actual blog. Glee. I imagine people expect blogs to contain content rather than a blank page with a few pretty pictures and a nice logo, so here we go I suppose. In advance, forgive my likely terrible writing soon to come. I'm currently operating off a little bit of sleep and SOMEONE keeps getting me bothered with their constant flirting and pictures... Seriously.
Well what is there to say? Uhhhh. Financially I'm not really in a mess yet at the same time I am, I have a decent amount of money banked that I can kind of sit around on in my parent's house since the rent is cheap.. Only issue is I'll have to start paying by the end of July and mhhhh.... Yeah, I'm not going to get a job when I have appointments for x-rays, surgeons and therapists. Sorry mom! You're sort of being a douchebag when you tell me to get a job when I am busy drinking cups full of barium. HNNNH.
Anyways, aside from frivolous (not really) medical issues there's something I actually consider a major issue in my life at the moment. The main reason why I'm hooking up with a therapist (not like that) in the first place, I'd want to say but it's... Ehhhhhh. It's pretty personal and I don't care to divulge my personal problems for the interwebs to gawk at. Needless to say six years of buildup turned into a less than twenty minute conversation in my mom's car. She thought I was coming out about being homosexual or something... This was... Actually pretty funny since I'm openly pansexual. I've made it pretty clear a lot of times that while what's in peoples pants can be plenty of fun I imagine... I'm more interested in a person for who they are, not the shape of their package... Or reverse package, or non-existant package... Whatever! Point being I don't enter a relationship because I want to have sex or get pregnant or something (God forbid, since children annoy the hell out of me... I swear, they just always give me this creepy stare...)
I've recently got more in-touch with one of my many many many exes. We broke up on pretty bad terms and he sorta ignored me for a lot of the relationship, but that wasn't the issue... It's what he said to me. Haha, he actually had the tenacity to state that I was a liar and that I was using my gender to manipulate people and coerce them into making them give me things. Now a lot of people might scoff at this I have a major, major issue with being manipulated. Plenty of people have manipulated me and ergo, I have ruined plenty of people's lives to the best of my abilities. Anyways, it was actually all a misunderstanding apparently (Go figure, he lives in Germany and a lot of stuff is lost in translation) since he was just pissed off and didn't know what he was talking about. I finally racked up the nerve to actually talk to him again since... Yeah, he did say something that offended me greatly but I still sort of have feelings for him.
In actuality he was the first person to pursue me with actual legitimate feelings, so he always sort of has this place in my heart. I told him about this and he started crying, it was pretty cute actually how worked up he got about it; I don't think I've actually ever said something that was about my sappy feelings for a person that made them burst into tears. I felt really bad that I actually broke up with him (I mean, come on... It was his birthday when I called it off). Anyways, he's taken now so I'm not really keen on acting on anything, he's with a cute girl who clings to him like he was a big teddybear. I find it pretty cute and they love each other a lot so I've been sort of giving advice and helping out from time to time, I'd really like to see their relationship flourish.
There's someone else I'm interested in though, it got really complicated really fast though and personally I don't blame her for anything... She was just sort of trying to make everyone happy and got caught up in the heat of the moment. Anyways, she's a dear and I care for her deeply even though I can be pretty insecure and whiny... There's other people interested in her as always and me being insecure... I get really jealous about it. Anyways, YOU. YES YOU. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Why must you push my buttons!? I swear, she like has this heat vision for everything I'm vulnerable against and lays every damn card down on the table one after another. Think of it like being in a straight jacket in a white room, and then someone jumps into your cell and starts breakdancing. You're going to be absorbed by them pretty quickly, it's on that sort of scale. Insignificant drifting and then BAM SONIC BOOM.
Oh, what else can I say... I no longer have a bedroom. Isn't that fun? Yeah, my computer is set up on a shitty wobbly glass table in a basement near a freezer. Funfunfun. At least I have more privacy down here because I swear when I actually had a room, there was no point to closing the door. Just fucking change your clothes in the middle of the living room, you have a lower chance of someone fucking kicking your door in and asking you something. Seriously, you can't possibly imagine how many times I have to stop a game (My neise is 7 so I can't play like uhh.. Anything if she walks into my room.. And then she shouts about wrestlers and ponies and won't leave me alone.) or immediately minimize a chat window. Worse than my neise is my brother (Which for some reason I'm invisible at the moment, which is annoying but at least he doesn't bother me.) who decides it's a good idea to walk in my room and watch over my shoulder or pace around and talk to me for fourty minutes at the worst time possible. So, I'm thinking maybe going all natural. It doesn't even fucking matter at this point if I was a nudist or not since people in this house need to all learn to knock on the fucking door then ask to come in. The closest I've got, seriously... Knock on the door and come in without asking. Yeah, thanks.. That doesn't help if I'm changing. The only person who doesn't do this is my mom and that's like the one person I wouldn't consider punching in the face for walking into my room unannounced and being a general asshole.
Anyways, a good friend of mine and a former love interest (Go figure) has decided that she is not 27. Nononononono. She is a twelve year old and if she's leaving EVERYTHING MUST GO WITH HER. I swear, she decided to set up a bunch of material for a server... Decent amount of content in it, I worked a lot on it to and then she up and left and decided to take everything with her (Woops, I have backups). It's like... She makes a sand-castle and then because she made 70% of it and she's leaving the beach, she better kick it down. No, sorry. 30% of it is mine and you put it there with the intention of hundreds of users having access on it... If you write content for a server, a server that quickly becomes reliant on the content... You don't just pull that out. It's really stupid and childish since she's going out of her way to spite four or five people and if she succeeded it would have fucked over like twenty of her friends as well. She's 27. 27 and she still has the mentality of "burn down the office when I quit my management position", I'd go as far to say that it's pathetic.
The more I write this the more I realize that this is just a big funny rant blog with me occasionally sliding in profanity, if I'm not going into details you can blame miss push-my-buttons for making me all awkward and stuff. What's something that's not rant-worthy? Oh, uhhh. Hmmh.
Here you go! This is a song by an autistic Swedish kid named Benjamin Syrsa who likes aliens and massive boobs. Yeah, pretty generalized statement but he's just a super creative person who really, really likes boobs. I don't know either, but he makes good music and neat art so hey, why not? He has a blog.tv and such where he uhh... I don't know, he cleans. I played Minecraft with him a lot recently until he got bored of it and he's some architectural genius mastermind building futuristic skyscraper laser towers. Yeah, I don't know either so don't ask. I just like the rad tunes.
Anyways, uhhh... Hnnh. Not much to write about other than that? The overall state of things are... Meh but at the same time >~> DAMN YOU BUTTON PUSHER!
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