Have you ever gotten the feeling that the people you're closest to in say, terms of genetics are like your arch enemies or something? That's certainly how it's feel for me right now, it's pretty annoying. You grow up around these people and get to know them for all your life and the tiniest little thing just sets them off and suddenly they're the Dr. No of James Bond. That's definitely how it feels to me, the people and things I'm afraid of the most all trail back to my family which is, well. Initially I said we don't have a dysfunctional family but I guess it's not exactly a functional one either. So, let's go down the list again shall we? Starting with my parents...
Dad - He's an alright guy, he's into a lot of spiritual or wacky things but he's also strangely conservative. He's a nice guy and kind of a dork but who isn't? I mean there's nothing wrong with him, he's prone to just bursting his top sometimes but it's a little less common that I'd like to admit. What can I say? I have a pretty vivid memory when it comes to the things that hurt or set me off. He's probably one of the few people I can still have a normal conversation with, I wonder how long that'll last.
Mom - I've said a lot of unflattering things here about her, really mean things at that but I was pissed off so, sue me. It's kind of a love hate relationship now, which is annoying since I still regard my mom highly. She disowned me and told me not to come home because she thought it would be in my best interests since I could try to relate more with my sister, but all the excuses and talk revolving around it's like... Fuck, nobody really knows me in my family. If everything is kosher why was I punted out in the first place?
Sister #1 - No contact, she's an uptight bitch who thinks she's better than everyone because she works for the C of E. Ooh, you're a city planner... Who gives a shit. She has to 'schedule' you in, even for a phone call. My mom tried to get a hold of her for two weeks and she purposely wasn't replying. We didn't even know if she was dead or not.
Sister #2 - This is the sister I live with, she's kind of emotional and has a few problems as I've stated before but I get along with her well. I feel like she's someone that I might be able to talk to about important things and not have this fear of having to vindicate myself immediately after. She can have a breakdown from time to time, but it's not as bad as the rest of my family likes to make out. She requires govt help, yes... But it's like, jesus. Some of the shit I hear about and general atmosphere you'd think she's the bastard child of Genghis Khan.
Sister #3 - Very little contact, acts nice when you're around but is a highly opinionated hypocrite. Goes around and gets slammed, has a shitty boyfriend and has been into drugs/has gotten STD's. Sleeps around from time to time and smokes, looks nice but she insists of getting piercings in the weirdest places to the point where it's shock value more than anything. Nice person but she doesn't really have her shit together and tries to give 'advice' which just... Sounds bad. She was literally like "You should be more like Ghandhi" at one point only to say "Fuck you" when you're like "Nope."
Brother - Holy crap, what the fuck. I was on good terms with him and there was a minor misunderstanding about something and suddenly he's at my neck and threatening me. He never wants to talk to me again apparently. Let me elaborate a little, my money is in my brother's account (Money that he spent) so when I asked for it he said he'd get it when he handed in his enumerating book (The 10th). So, 10th comes. Nothing, he just doesn't send it or anything... Ask him what's up and he goes on this tirade claiming that no no, it was at the end of the month (Even though he fucking said 500$ on the 10th and another 500$ on the 30th). So, what happens? The energy company sends a notice of disconnection.
Of course now I'm scrambling and have to borrow money from my dad to give to my brother who SPENT MY MONEY so he can pay me. What does he do? Says he's going to ring my neck if he sees me within the next few months. So I sent him a message, say I'm sorry for the misunderstanding (He's the one who fucked up anyways...) and that I'm sorry for stressing him out and we shouldn't make this personal. I've got it taken care of and he doesn't have to pay out of his pockets, just the money my dad is going to give him. So, what does he do? He says that I better stay away from him and not talk to him, what the fuck? You fuck up, I try to fix it, I DO fix it and you throw a bloody fit.
I mean fuck, it's not my problem you're in debt and can't get a job. But fine by me if he wants to burn bridges, I'm not doing him any favours any time soon. Seriously, I don't even fucking know. He's just being a douchebag and now even my dad is sick of him because he's RANTING to my dad about how I FUCKED up when he's the idiot who put my money on his credit card and spent it! Seriously, what the fuck. It's your fault, get the fuck over yourself and man up. If someone almost a decade younger is telling you to man up.. Take a fucking hint. Acts like he's better because he's got more education, apparently it didn't help with his social problems. I swear, he's a sociopath or something in the sense that he has to always win a conflict.
So, yeah. Fucking retarded. Now apparently everyone is pissed off at me (What the fuck?) and that's what I'm really starting to hate about my family. If something happens ALL of them have a fucking opinion based on what's essentially hearsay. And they wonder why I never wanted to talk to them about my problems... Maybe because you won't leave things well enough alone. I don't even want to talk to any of them excluding my sister. I'm stressed out and just want to prepare for my one month anni with Sammi but apparently that's out of the question.
Seriously, I'll just move to Nova Scotia or something and live off of fish. My world is sooooo incredibly fucked up right now and I have friends left and right with issues. Lena occasionally flips out at me for... Pretty much nothing, Rio doesn't even talk to me anymore, Dale is having RL issues so he's out of the game (Get better, damnit). Scarly doesn't talk too much but we're talking more now at least which is nice. Shmoo and Loli are kinda passive friends as they only really talk when talked to... Kumi is having troubles of some sort as is my friend Army, those two are the only two I've really been hanging with aside from Sammi of course. At least there's one blessing here I can count for sure.
Anyways, I'm sure you've all heard of them... The Postal Service, so here's a song from them since that's what I'm listening to.
Family is full of suck, life is semi-suck except for the people I still keep as friends and my relationship. That's about all there is to it, at least I have power tomorrow now. Ciao.
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